In quiet moments, when I feel bereft and alone, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. Sometimes I don't even know what to do. I've even asked close friends what they do when life gets tough, when the road gets bumpy, when the way is just plain, old difficult.
Throughout the years, the months, the weeks, the days, the hours, the minutes and the moments of this life, we've all passed through some kind of difficulty. I won't even try to guess or understand what you all have felt. I do, however, know what I have felt, and keep on feeling. It is not easy. Sometimes it's not even understandable. But I do know this - that Heavenly Father has been there for me. For the first time since the week of Carmody's passing, this morning I watched a slideshow a dear friend put together for her funeral. The song that will ever touch my soul and ultimately utter peace to it, "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee" is so very touching and helps give us understanding of how the Gospel works. Moments pass, where we feel forgotten. Minutes touch where we feel alone. Days, months and sometimes years pass where we feel that God has forsaken us. My testimony to you today is that HE DOES NOT. He is an EVER loving Heavenly Father. He does not forget us. His Son, Jesus Christ, has said, "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of MY hands; thy walls are continually before me." (Isaiah 49:16) We are not forgotten and hardly are we ever alone. Elder Holland has taught and testified,
"His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path— the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil,prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” (John 14:18,23)
I thank all my friends and angels that God has sent to me, seen and unseen. I hope always that Carmody is around me to comfort me and give me support. Most importantly, I know that through His divine providence, that He has comforted me. It wasn't He who turned His face from me, it was me failing to look up at him. For long, long moments have I stared at the ground, trudging my way through the darkness and frailties of life. It is time for me to look up, take His outstretched hand. (2 Nephi 19:4 [towards the end of the verse])
"Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, will I cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and everlasting God. Amen" (2 Nephi 4:35)
References to enjoy
My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwzMNKAT0p4
None Were With Him
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/none-were-with-him?lang=eng
I have listened to that song literally countless times since February, and the ironic part is that I just read your post after playing it on the piano. Learning the piece is my tribute to her and my way to remember all that has happened. It truly does have a comforting message.
ReplyDeleteI hope that in the days ahead you will continue to find peace and will always have friends around to support you and angels to "bear you up" when you are feeling alone.
May God be with you, and thank you for sharing your insights once again.