I didn't know what I'd do for you today. I've been so lost in despair these past 11 months, nothing has seemed right to celebrate. But I know you'd appreciate this. I was never good at gift giving - you are though. You knew exactly what I needed and when. So maybe this will help you on the other side. I don't know.
You're probably preaching the gospel and helping out all the people you wanted to. That was your dream: to enable others to feel the happiness of Heavenly Father's plan for His children, us. Your dream was to play with all the fluffy things you found. You appreciate the beauty in absolutely everything. Do you know how much I think back to the hike you took with your friends where they sped up the hill and you lagged behind because you were admiring the flowers and the country side? Do you know how much I appreciate all the late night talks we had? About embarrassing things, awkward things, amazing things, mysterious things, about the future, about what we wanted? I promise you we'll continue to have them - for the eternities. My love for you has not diminished but surprisingly has grown. I was roving last night and on my way back to my apartment and I was wondering why I love you.
These are the thoughts that came to my mind.
1. Your appreciation for the smallest of God's creations
2. Your patience with me
3. Your brilliant smile
4. Your yips at the sight of anything small, furry and cute
5. Your passion for helping others even when you felt absolutely horrible
6. Your dedication to live the gospel - no matter what happened nor when it was
7. Your physically beauty
8. Your spiritual purity and innocence
9. The threshold of insanity and ALL the silliness that came from that
10. Your love and dedication to your family
11. Your love for the Crooners and their music - even if I was jealous
12. The way you worried about how you looked
13. The radiation of love that I felt from you
14. Your dedication to do what was right - no matter how hard it was
15. Your unwavering, simple faith
16. Blue Bell Ice Cream 'Nuff Said.
17. Everything Texas
18. Country dancing
19. Dedication to your school work
20. Ability to balance all of your plates with excellence and grace
I could keep going - but those are more private, more heartfelt that I can express in print. I need to be with you to say them, to have you feel them, to see your face while I say them. So, someday, when we are reunited, we'll have this discussion. I'll hug you, spin you around, cry into your shoulder and try my hardest to express my love to you. I miss you so much my love. My love for you has not diminished, not one whit. It has grown to be everlasting - never ending - full of happiness and joy. You my dear, are worth it. You, are my angel.
Today we would have done the silly things - Divine Comedy, Studio C, Blue Bell's, Ridiculous date going through Blickenstaff's, some GREAT home cooked food. All that and more my love. But for now, I hope you can feel my love and hear my desperate cries to Father that we can be together again. I have faith that it will work out - some way, some how. Heavenly Father's plan is perfect, and I know He will help us to see how we fit into His beautiful and amazing plan.
I love you Carmody - Happy Birthday and enjoy eternal youth and gluten. :)
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| Blue Bell Ice Cream for the win! |
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| Divine Comedy is always worth waiting for! |
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| And yes, you bring out the silly in me too. Love you. <3 |
