The Unexpected Right Thing...

So it's been a day now since Michelle and I have broken up. It's been pretty hard.... After having put all of my heart and effort into it. But yet we both decided it was the right thing (giving her the credit for being brave and suggesting it). Now it's time for me to really get to know what I want, what I need to do and what are my goals and expectations in life. This has been an awesome month and a half... but yet a real eye opener on my part. Where I thought I was ready... I wasn't completely honest with myself. Where I thought I knew what I wanted... I was as fluid as water.

I was rushing to find myself... which really doesn't work... for fear of losing her. Now it's done even though I have done so. Which goes to show that you should always be ready before you make a decision instead of deciding that you'll try to do it along the way. Better prepared than wishy-washy... Which unfortunately I was and still am a little bit. But there is always room for improvement. I can take what I learned from this relationship and become a better man - putting my trust, and priority, in my Father and His will rather than what I want or what another may want. I have to make my decisions and my goals... no one else can do it for me.

Which is what I am learning now. So here I go!

Influx of Feeling

I guess this is the part where RM's share in common. The things they don't expect when they get home from the mission. Things they thought were always easy or how they should be. After being home for two months from the mission, I am still getting these weird feelings.

Like being really happy. Then being confused, indecisive, or simply not knowing. (The mission was easy in this aspect - It really is the Lord's work and He guides every step of the way.) Being angry to feeling worthless. I don't know. These times are filled with so many different emotions - I thought only teenagers had that. Anyways, I don't know a lot of things anymore. I just keep trying to do what I think is best and keep on going.

Life is just a roller coaster. Full of ups and downs and all arounds. Just gotta keep on going. Most of the time I am happy, which is good and Life isn't perfect so these other feelings lurk around and bite at the heels from time to time. But I try to what I have been taught and trust in my Father in Heaven.

I am glad today is Sunday. Time for Church and the Sacrament and Learning about the scriptures and applying to my life. Well, that's all for now. :D TTFN.

Well, that was interesting.

It's been a month or so back into school and things are starting to calm down. I've definitely been seeing ways to improve in almost every aspect, which is better than before because I was just kinda static.

Seeing my first exam scores open up my eyes real wide. Now, they are not bad scores and many people would feel satisfied with them. But I know I can do better. I can do so much better than that. Which means I have to redistribute my time and energy on certain things now. Which is alright because that's all part of the process of coming back from the mission, right? But a lot more time needs to go into studying, that's for sure.

What else is going on? Being in a relationship is absolutely fantastic. She's kind, helpful, energetic, happy and most of all she cares about me. It's nice to actually have someone else to kinda put my focus on whereas I am not focusing everything on me. I tend to be self-centered sometimes: My problems, my classes, the things important for me. Maybe this will help me be more humble, caring and helpful. But most importantly, it makes me happy and I hope it makes her happy too.

I am on an intramural basketball team which is awesome. I get to play ball on a team and while we don't practice a whole bunch, it's fun to play. It gets my mind off of things and helps me to release stress and energy in a good way. Which is kinda weird because I am tired all the time, but it helps.

So that's it for now. I should probably work on some papers or something.... I got a few due on Friday. Happy Valentine's Day!

Time Flies When You Are Having Fun

Well, things have been CRAZY! Being a full-time college student coming back from the mission and trying to get back into the swing of things. It's really hard of doing the same thing for two years straight and then all of a sudden you get thrown into the mix of things. Writing papers, studying for tests, doing homework, looking for a job, dating, trying to speak in English so people can understand you... It's intense. But so far I am handling it.

Actually... I gotta write a paper right now..... See ya!